When you have a custody agreement in place, that is more than a piece of paper. This is a court-ordered decision that protects your child’s well-being. It is frustrating and disruptive when your ex decides to disregard that agreement.

You have legal options if your ex is repeatedly late for pickups or denied your court-ordered visitation. You do not have to tolerate repeated violations.

What to do if your ex violates a custody agreement? Here is what you need to know. 

Stay Calm and Document Everything

Your first instinct may be to confront your ex. However, in these situations, documentation is power. You will want to keep a detailed record of every violation, such as:

• Missed visits or exchanges  
• Late drop-offs or pickups 
• Denied communication, including calls, emails, and video chats 
• Any messages, texts, or emails relating to the incident  

Make sure to write down dates, times, and specifics. You may also want to save screenshots, voicemails, or anything else that can support your claims. All of your documentation should be factual. Many times, it could become evidence in court.

Review Your Custody Order 

You may think something is a violation, but it could fall into a gray area. You will want to re-read your custody order to know whether your ex’s actions are going against the terms.

Try to Communicate Your Concerns

If it feels safe and appropriate, you may want to reach out to your ex directly. However, make sure to handle it calmly. Sometimes, violations are caused by misunderstandings, scheduling changes, or poor communication.

With that, you do not want to engage in arguments or threats, especially over text or email. Your words may be used against you, even if you are in the right. You may want to involve your lawyer or the court if communication is consistently hostile or unproductive.

Talk to Your Attorney

If the violations continue or escalate, you may have to talk to a California family law attorney. They can assess the situation and explain the legal options available. 

Even if you do not want to move forward with court action right away, getting legal guidance can help you approach the issue in a more strategic manner.  

File a Motion for Contempt

With repeated violations, you may have to ask the court to intercede. You might have to file a Request for Order (RFO) and seek enforcement through a Motion for Contempt.

In California, a parent who willfully disobeys a custody order can be found in contempt of court. If found guilty, they may face:

• Fines  
• Community service  
• Jail time 
• Changes to the custody arrangement  
• Mandatory parenting or co-parenting classes  

Keep in mind that the court’s goal is to make sure everyone is in compliance with the order to protect your child’s best interests.

Request a Custody Modification 

If your ex’s violations are putting your child at risk, you may want to ask the court to modify the custody order. This can cover everything from:

• Adjusting visitation schedules
• Reducing parenting time
• Changing primary custody

In California, courts will consider a modification if a “significant change in circumstances” affects the child’s welfare. Repeated violations, interference with parenting time, or signs of instability could fall into that category.

Focus on Your Child

Custody disputes are hard on everyone, but they can be confusing for kids. You never want to speak negatively about your ex in front of your child or put them in the middle of adult conflicts. Let your child know they are loved and that the adults are working to fix things.

Get Legal Assistance for Your Custody Order

In most cases, a custody order brings structure and peace of mind. You should not be in constant conflict. What to do if your ex violates a custody agreement? You must protect your rights as a parent and stand up for what’s best for your child.

During this time, working with an experienced attorney can give you a clearer picture of your options. You can also get the help you need to resolve these conflicts. With that, everyone can get some peace of mind. 

If you have questions about custody orders, Roberts & Zatlin Law Office is here to help. To schedule a consultation and receive a free initial assessment of your case, please call (951) 381-8147 today.